WEEK 21 Anger, Fear, Guilt, Hurt Feelings, Unworthiness- Tools for my mental toolkit!

So what do anger, fear, guilt, hurt feelings, , and unworthiness all have in common? Well we may say the obvious…that being negative feelings, and the kind most of us do not welcome into our lives with open arms. Makes sense of course. After all, who of us wakes up in the morning anxious to encounter something or someone who through some sort of action causes us to experience any of these noted feelings. Don’t sign me up!

Ah, but then…..with a fresh look and a new perspective, is it possible we can take each of anger, fear, hurt, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness and turn them into tools?? Can we really add them into our mental tool box and leverage each one when we do in fact encounter them? That was the challenge put to us this week in our MKMMA….How do we use these feelings as tools?

It never surprises me that we are charged with another deep and reflective exercise for the week. It so happens that each of these feelings crossed my heart so far in this week. How is that possible when I am a pretty happy go lucky person, someone with a positive mental attitude and one who always looks at a glass half full…preferably of a good wine? It is not a surprise to me as well, that when I am discovering something new about myself, the right and necessary question is put in front of me.

Back to these “tools”…..a busy, complex, and rather emotionally hectic week created the energy for me to have experienced each of these as I noted….unusual for all in one week… When I removed myself from each situation and in fact, became the observer, who was then looking at me and the situation from a distance, so to speak, each of the situations and the associated feelings made way more sense! I can’t always understand a situation when I am in the middle of it. The observer role allowed me to remove myself from the event and look at it with a more open mind, and simply detach from the outcomes. …like watching a play and simply observing and not making judgements. Who said, ” Observation is power. Judgement is weakness.” ? Some great mind I cannot remember.

So how did I use the tools?

For ANGER, I was able to use that intense energy to get me through not only the situation itself, but also it helped me to sustain it for a long stretch of time so I actually accomplished even more during that intense time. It made me stronger, not weaker. A great tool.

As to FEAR, well in a similar way that pounding in my heart made my energy levels higher than normal, so in order to work to rid myself of the fear, I concentrated more on the task at hand. That’s a good thing and made the task easier to deal with and is was finished faster. Another great tool.

So for GUILT, well it struck me as I was feeling it, it actually validated for me what my principles are; what I consider my integrity, my values. When I was feeling it, it felt I was out of alignment with these values. So is that a bad thing? Not if he helped me to get back into integrity. Yep, another great tool.

Ok, so for HURT FEELINGS, that was a troubling one. Then I realized I could only be hurt if I cared even about something or someone. I did as was the case. Wow, that was a show stopper to help me recognize that caring for someone or something is important and it sure is worth it when a hurt feeling comes along as a reminder. Add this tool to my mental toolbox forever.

UNWORTHINESS, this is a feeling I have been all too familiar with most of my life. It is one that I have chipped at overcoming over many years, yet pops up again every so often. When I experienced it this past week, I was immediately reminded about some unfinished business; some promises I made I needed to keep. That rang loud for me again as I valued the feeling when I could see its usefulness. A gentle nudge or a big bang…either way, it was a chance to get back to what was outstanding. Yes, another great tool.

So adding into my positive mental attitude toolbox, I can now say I have these 5 new tools. They are not for you to borrow. You can create your own should the situation occur.



14 thoughts on “WEEK 21 Anger, Fear, Guilt, Hurt Feelings, Unworthiness- Tools for my mental toolkit!

  1. Lydia.
    It is alway a joy to read your posts. I love being on this journey with you. You are doing such great work and growing so much. I am so happy for you. Great Tool Box!
    Love and Gratitude

    PS. I love all you pictures. I wish I could figure out how to do that for my blog!

    • Cheryl,
      it is always a joy hearing from you!
      I just Google search for images and then copy them into the document as I create the blog….happy to help if you want to talk about it sometime over a call. 604-892-1099 🙂

  2. Lydia! Thank you for your clear descriptions I’ve been struggling with things that used to work not working. Your descriptions broke up the thought patterns I’d created in the past when thinking that are now just habits I use to be right about me, it or them. Habits, good and bad are thought forms we created in thinking or someone did and we take as truth.

  3. Great observations Lydia – wonder if you were the one Mark referred to as having “got it” last week on the webinar. I looked up the quote you mentioned “Observation is power. Judgement is weakness.” and it appears it may have been said by Leland Val Van der Wall. If so, he also said: “The degree to which a person can grow is directly proportional to the amount of truth he can accept about himself without running away.” Sounds like your growth is exponential!

  4. Thanks Carolynn. No I don’t imagine it was me MJ referred to……I am breaking the wall around these feelings and believe others have already crushed them! So glad to be growing along your side! See ya on the webinar!

  5. Great post Lydia! Clear, succinct and a great read! You certainly have it together with the feelings and using them as a positive tools. I look forward to reading and learning from your post!

    • Appreciate your comments Wes…..some days it does feel all together, and other days…well….not, but the best part is recognizing the moves forward, no matter how incremental.

  6. Lydia,

    First time here but certainly not the last. Beautifully written post with very concise language. Personally have always struggled with the unworthy item as well and I chip, chip, chip. Many times go to the dual thought and that typically gets me though. I love your idea of the unfinished business and will try to keep that in the forefront.



  7. Lydia enjoyed your erudition of the class assignment wonderfully presented and again a fertile soil;l in which to grow. I too wrote about the assignment and ended up with a “circular” all good though it worked as week 21 part 1 and week 22 part 2. Is it not just a blast to afford ourselves this time and creativity?

    • Luther…. thanks for the message. yes yes I like how you asked about us affording us this time and creativity. That totally landed for me…allowing us…that is what we are purposefully doing and with great results. Many thanks for the nudge!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s